Hey! Before I start talking about the issue and discuss it with you all, I want to say that I am a homemaker and my name is Priyanka Baruah. Nowadays, when I look around in most of the families irrespective of caste, creed, religion, background, upper class, middle class, lower class, color, qualifications, or even age group. Let's put in a way that there is a kind of "COLD - WAR " going on between two parties. And they are the In-laws, which consists of mother-in-law, father-in-law, sister-in-law, brother-in-law, or in some cases relatives of "very" distant relations whom we also call " Dur ke rishtedaar ". And the other party is the DAUGHTER-IN-LAW, or " Bahu-rani ".
Both the parties claim to be very intelligent, understanding, think that they are being misused and molested by the other party. Like everybody, they both also have a viewpoint in every situation and think only they are right. No one is bothered about having a second thought for other's perspectives too. This is very important to build a healthy relationship, whether it is " Saas -bahut", "sasur-bahu", "nand-bhabhi", " Devar-bhabhi", or even in "husband-wife " Relation.
In my view, there are several different areas for their conflicts, the most common is CLOTHING. In-laws think that ' beti kuch pehne, koi baat ni lekin bahuyein ni pehn skti ' & mostly daughter-in-law thinks they should be given full freedom to wear whatever she wants to. Apart from that, BEHAVIOR, mostly in-laws think she should "behave" Like 'bahu' but "react & think" Like 'beti'. Whereas today's bahus are very practical they want to " Behave, think & react " Like 'Betis' only. And expect being love and respect like a daughter only. The most common area where arguments happen is KITCHEN, in-laws expect the same kind of food should be cooked, in the same way, and bahu should show ki 'uski maa ne kya sikhaya hai '. Which is so ironic.
Another point of conflict is CAREER. Nowadays, very less in-laws support the women of the house in their careers, their priorities are women's happiness. Also, very fewer women are career-oriented, most women are happy being housewives only, which is the most difficult job in the world with no holidays and acknowledgments at all. POWER, which means they hold, in-laws wants that ' sab Kuch unke hisab se hona chahiy' & mostly hota bhi hai'. On the other hand, the new lady wants to take that power in her own hands now, which is why mostly 'saas- bahu' fights occur.
Now comes the FAMILIES of both the spouses, as in India it is said ' ki Shaadi do logon ka Nahi do Parivaron ka Milan Hota hai ', but in reality even in the most modern families partiality occurs, such as the men & his family members can say whatever they wish to & behave the way they want but if the vice a versa happens it's almost as if they have killed someone or done a crime. For example, if the girl's father scolds his son in law the way he does to his son, it's a lifetime crime that cannot be forgotten easily. Also, I would like to add in some cases the woman is so overpowering the whole 'sasural ' they can't say a word in front of her. And that is why I always believe & say that there should be a:-
"BALANCE OF YOUR THOUGHTS, REACTIONS, VIEWS, NEEDS, EXPECTATIONS & BELIEFS FOR EVERYONE & IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES TO MAKE YOUR HOUSE A 'HOME SWEET HOME '.
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